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  • Writer's pictureDaphne Dixon

Why #ExperienceMatters

Updated: Jul 29, 2020

Some things you only learn by experience. Some things have to be lived to be understood.

Life is full of these lessons… So is love…

Spiral staircase, Ralph Waldo Emerson quote
"Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood. All is riddle, and the key to a riddle is another riddle." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

I have always been ahead of my time… People called me an old soul in high school, in part because I understood things, even back then, that others in my age group didn’t. Some things are in our DNA… I don’t understand how all that works sometimes, but that is one of the great mysteries of some gifts we are just born with…

But even when you get a jump start on certain skills, or aspects of understanding, there are still some things you can only get through lived experience.

The gifts I was born with have lead me on this path, but it is the experience along the way that has solidified and refined them.

gold bars, refined gold

Many of you reading this now can probably relate to having made choices in the past you would not make today, or would make differently if you could go back and do it again, knowing what you know now... This doesn’t mean they are regrets per se (because the choices teach us all something, and is a part of how we are where we are today), but we carry a different wisdom now that we didn’t have at earlier stages in our lives...wisdom that is undeniable, and priceless. Often it incorporates greater levels of understanding (and hopefully compassion), but also various skills and instincts that can only be developed through the bumps and bruises of life. The lived experience gives us many gifts along the way, even if we get off course sometimes.

You can’t buy that knowledge…(mentoring or guidance yes, but not a short cut to the knowledge gained through practical experience). You can’t read about it in a book and fully understand it, or teach it. You can’t manufacture it, or fake it. With some things, you must actually live it to fully grasp those concepts, ideas and practice.

helping others, giving a hand, hikers

Some see age as a limitation...on vitality, desirability, competency (as if age is what determines those things….). They may want a more experienced guide, but feel that there is a trade off due to aging or maturity.


  • Vitality is a reflection of how we live our lives.

  • Desirability is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves (what our energy attracts/deflects).

  • Competency is a reflection of knowledge amassed and utilized appropriately.

None of these things are dependent upon age, but life experience can (and usually does) enhance our ability to connect with these important components.

It’s not on our radar to connect the dots in how to feel alive and vibrant when we are younger, when it is a part of our natural state of being…

It can be difficult to understand the importance of cultivating self love, and self-identity when chasing (and getting) acceptance from the external sources of consumerism and social media.

It’s harder to focus on developing deep skill building, that is often a mixture of multiple influences, when you have limited experiences to draw on earlier in life…

When you learn how to cultivate vitality that is sustainable at any age, that is when Experience Matters.

When you develop a connection to self, and love of self, that refuses to be defined by others, that is when Experience Matters.

When you cultivate the acumen and subtlety that takes skill sets to the next level, that is when Experience Matters.

Daphne Dixon, DanceWithDaphne, life coach, consultant, companion

Women 10 or 20 years younger then me do not have this matter how many books they’ve read, how many restaurants they’ve eaten in, or how much lingerie is in their dresser drawers...these things are superficial experience at best. And even with time, one’s ability to translate the events of one’s life into sensitivity, intuition, and wisdom can vary depending on other factors...

But there simply is no substitute for Experience.

The incredible woman that I am today is because of my experience, and the study I have put in to the human condition, a large part of which has been done through a life fully lived. It is not just theory, but things I’ve put into practice. And also things I've learned through others...through my vast experience working directly with others, in various fields, and in travels around the US and abroad.

If you want someone to help you navigate the things you haven’t quite conquered, are curious about, or have been too busy to explore and live yourself...who do you want leading you on that journey? There can be comfort (and yes even temporary energy transfer....) in surrounding yourself in youthful naivete, but there won’t be the same opportunity for growth, to be sure... When the energy transfer fades, what remains?

Only you can say what you are looking for, and what you are actually ready for…

If you are looking to grow and evolve, and take things to the next level, consider how #ExperienceMatters, and I hope to hear from you! xoxo

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