• Daphne Dixon

Revisiting Co-creation

I had a spa day lined up yesterday, and got a call first thing in the morning that my new favorite massage therapist would be out sick.  I had been looking forward to the down time after a hectic couple of weeks, so opted to keep my appointment, not thinking to ask who the replacement therapist would be.  Of course when I get there to check in, I am told I am seeing someone that I had a poor experience with before… :-p  My initial reaction was to kick myself for not rescheduling, or at least not asking who the replacement would be, but it was too late now.  I had two choices: let the past experience taint my future one, or use the information of the past to help co-create a better outcome.  I quickly shook off the disappointment to shift my focus on how to help my massage be what I wanted it to be: relaxing and revitalizing.


This particular massage therapist seems to be a little scattered…last time, as well as this.  We started 10 minutes late, and her room wasn’t really ready when I entered.  But I let that go, and focused on the more important elements-how could she provide the massage I needed?

I reminded her we had met before, then proceeded to tell her my reason for the massage that day, and my typical problem areas along with highlighting a slight twinge I was feeling that day.  I verbalized my preference for a firm massage to get good flow working, and while I wasn’t looking to get beat up, I also didn’t want anything too light (as I had an issue with having to ask her multiple times for a firmer touch last time we met).  This helped her maybe remember who I was(?), as she said she understood, and that she had hopefully improved since last time (even though I did not verbally state I was disappointed in her last massage at any time).  She then made sure to adjust the table to a more appropriate height, noting how since she is shorter, it helps her lean into what she is doing for a more firmer massage.  (This also helped not feeling like she was laying on me during parts of the massage like last time…just one more part of why it was not a fulfilling experience).


During the massage, I surrendered to the experience instead of over-examining it.  I let her in, and consciously allowed her connect with me.  And serendipitously, right in those moments of affirming to myself that she was giving me what I wanted, she checked it to make sure the pressure was what I sought… :-)


I blissed out, spaced out, and got exactly what I wanted.  I helped co-create that experience in both verbal and non-verbal ways.  I made a focused, conscious effort to identify what I wanted, set up what I had control over, and let go of what I didn’t.  Certainly it’s not the first time I have steered something, or been pro-active in getting what I want, but I have to admit that I have sometimes let past disappointments (or other energy) taint an outcome.  Part of that is from a lifetime of programming from pessimistic role models, but certainly also from not being as fully engaged as I am capable of at times as well.


It takes constant practice to create the lives we want. Having an opportunity for co-creation in this way just makes me excited to continue to find ways to practice it more…  I hope this story inspires the same in some of you. xoxo


In love and light,


Daphne <3



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