When we fall in love...
Updated: Dec 30, 2018
There is nothing more intoxicating than the stirrings of the soul in lust and infatuation for another… Love IS a many-splendored thing! But our cultural programming has it wrong: the object, the other, is not the cause or source of that powerful energy-we are, the person experiencing it. Those responses flow, perhaps in response to something/someone we encounter, but we are really the source. It is what lies within, what is stimulated and aroused from our personalized, unique perspective, that creates all that magical energy.
Love is nothing more than a mirror into our own psyche, and a marker of where we are in our lives in that moment. What would happen if, in those early moments of love, we stop to investigate what buttons are being pushed, and why? And what if, instead of obsessing about who another person is, or what might happen in a relationship together, we use that knowledge to further our own evolution, independent of the catalyst? How will that change the course of, not only our own development, but also the course of that relationship? What is freed when we can properly catalog where those feelings emulate from? What would happen if, when we experienced the soul stirrings of love, we recognized it as being a chance to fall in love deeper with ourselves, regardless of what happens with the person helping to light that flame on that particular day?
Whether we are aware or not, there is usually constant change happening throughout the course of our lifetime. When the right kind of energy bumps up against ours, it can illuminate parts of ourselves that feel shiny and new. But those spaces have always been within us-we just haven’t learned how to access them on our own. Because we haven’t learned how to access those places directly, we often put that responsibility on the others, and outside sources, just like we do with the powerful stirrings of spirituality. We don’t believe, or have faith, in our own power, so we need to believe in a power larger than us-outside of us. If we have an outside source to project onto, we can believe that we are at the mercy of circumstance, and that things are beyond our control or power. Someone else holds the key, and needs to provide for us…. This denies, not only knowing ourselves fully, but really understanding the depths of our abilities (including our never-ending wellspring of potential). Love is a taste of part of the power that resides in us all.
It can be scary to think about how much power we truly have within…it’s so much easier to put that responsibility on another source. If we embrace it, then we must take full responsibility for it’s cultivation, which can easily set us up for experiences of failure & frustration…and loosing faith. Developing deeper levels of self-compassion and patience is important in that process. To provide the best environment for growth, we must provide the most favorable conditions. This is a continual practice, not a mastered skill.
Imagine developing a source for love that no one could take away from you, ever…that was always there for you, even if you are not involved in any relationships. How could that shape your life? Your choices??
When we fall in love, and we recognize the source of that energy, we never have to fear it leaving us. We never have to hitch the rope of dependency to another, then feel empty if/when life’s inevitable changes strain, fray or break that tie.
Love is infinite, and in you right now. Sometimes we just need the right catalyst to access it… This is part of what I do, in various ways, as no two people get to those places in the same way. Developing a deeper relationship with yourself can help you understand that path, and this is what I strive to cultivate in all my interactions. I am a catalyst, sparking other’s energy off mine.
Let’s fall in love…not the romanticized fantasy of love, but the one that recognizes what the source of love truly is: ourselves.