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  • Writer's pictureDaphne Dixon

What is a FLR?

Updated: Mar 13, 2022

FLR is an abbreviation for Female Led Relationship. It is a style of power exchange where traditional roles in a cis/het household are flipped. In a FLR, the female makes all the decisions and takes the lead on how the household is run and maintained. The power dynamic slants to her favor, but this does not mean she does not consult or get input from her submissive partner. As in any healthy relationship (ie: non-abusive), the submissive partner chooses to follow the lead of the female willingly, but also gives input and feedback, and contributes to the decision making. They just don't have the final say...

As with any consensual power exchange, specifics of how the dynamic is lived day to day is negotiated and agreed to by all parties. Beyond the female being the one to be the official "leader" in the house, all other elements may, and likely will, vary from household to household. Common themes may include other interests and fetishes such as chastity, cuckolding, and worship/service, but not always... Just because these are common themes in erotic literature for this type of dynamic, I caution against assuming too much about what any power exchange role will look like in real world practice. Negotiation is always an important part of any healthy and balanced relationship, which is the only kind I personally engage in.

Why do I bring this up? Because I feel like this style of relationship is desired by many men...especially men in power positions at work, who want a break from leading everyone else sometimes. Plus not everyone wants to be humiliated, restrained or beaten as par and course when handing over authority to someone else. I have had a number of clients and relationships over the years where the man simply didn't want to be in charge..nothing necessarily all that wild and crazy beyond that. And I don't think we talk about these alternative types of "softer" domination and power exchange enough.

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