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  • Writer's pictureDaphne Dixon

sX as spiritual practice

I have this picture on my refrigerator:

I keep it there as a tool to turn to when I might be feeling stagnant or stuck, as well as when I have a lot on my mind. Lists like these offer a variety of options for how to find footholds for working through challenging times. It's part of my self-care tool kit, and reminds me I have control over how I choose to walk thorugh this world, passively and detatched, or actively, with contemplation of how I am choosing to do that.

As I am looking at this tree this morning, it strikes me about how each of these branches can be represented and practiced through sX... And while most of the leaves have ways we can easily connect and apply to our bedroom adventures, I do think it would be valid to include "f'ing" on the movement branch. ;-) (and if you go to the website, they actually cover how not all leaves/practices can be represented not complaining it is an ommision, simply sharing my morning thoughts...)

The more we are able to engage these practices, the stronger our roots become. The stronger the roots, the more we connect to self. The deeper we are able to connect with self, the deeper our relationships become around us, in all areas of our lives. This is the formula for intimacy. This is the recipe. This is the practice that will fulfill this need. There are no short cuts if we seek authentic, loving, and sustainable connection to other humans, no matter if it is to just 1, or 1 million.

So yes, I am saying an obvious "have more sX!" (with other consenting adult humans of course...), but also calling attention to how you can use those moments for spiritual development, be that alone, one on one, or in crazy puppy pile groups. We can cultivate this energy almost any time and anywhere we want. (add caveat about not violating public decency laws to consent reference above).

Sharing that experience with others is always going to generate the most power, as being able to connect in that way with others always amplifies our capabiliites (it also takes more skills to navigate energy exchange and connection with larger groups, so keep that in mind...). But even if you are by yourself: it does not require another person to access this path. You can reference this list, and choose the practices you wish to engage, on a lazy Sunday afternoon or in the morning shower.

When we start learning to use these techniques in all areas of our lives, and learn to apply them to our lives holistically, we stop living as smaller, incomplete/separate versions of ourselves... We find the ways were we connect it all together, all of who we are, both darkenss AND light, and how to find the balance of control and surrender...the sweet spot of fully recognzing all we are, beyond the roles and lives we've been programmed to play...

And the love that is waiting there...

Not romantic love...bigger than that. The pure love we have craved from childhood...the love we all crave, and often look for from others.

It is in us, right now...waiting to have the layers that obscure it removed...

That is what this tree does. It helps us remove those layers...

I'm going to start talking more about how to work more with contemplative practices in more intimate spaces, so consider this the firestarter of more conversations around this idea. Feel free to share any comments or thoughts below.

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