Every day is a "new normal"
Updated: May 15, 2020
Greetings friends! I hope you are all managing the continued shifts, and taking care of yourselves as best you can. I have been doing the same, and taking this opportunity to sit back and gather information.
What the future holds is uncertain, but this is nothing new: every day is a new beginning, and new set of circumstances unfolding... Each moment requires us to process and adapt to whatever comes our way. Today is no different, except that we are working on a larger scale.
Prior to COVID, it was only our immediate lives that required most of our attention. Now we not only have to manage huge shifts there, but also the bigger picture as well...reminding us that no matter how caught up we get in our individual lives, we are connected to something much bigger, whether we like it or not. We are not just our own lives, responsibilities and families, where we are able to insulate ourselves from "other people's problems". The micro is a part of the macro, and we are being forced to think about that now. This has been hard for me, and I am still processing. As a strong, self-sufficient, independent spirit, I have always focused on maintaining my world and my environment. This is shifting that, and it's good...but I am still wrapping my head around it all.
Thankfully I feel like I have been preparing for this moment my whole life. While I have gotten caught up in bad habits, distractions, and the programs we are fed by society that often take us away from ourselves, I have also worked hard to pay attention to learn the lessons from past challenges. And when you live a life of soaring to great heights, there can sometimes be huge falls... I am no stranger to hard times, am never more grateful for those struggles I have endured than I am today. Each one showed me I had more strength still waiting to be tapped, and more resources than I realized. Every moment of darkness was always followed by light...eventually. Every time I rallied it proved that there are always things ahead that cannot be seen or anticipated, and I learned sometimes we have to just keep going to see what tomorrow brings... <3
But regardless of those life cycles, it might be hard to equate those smaller lessons (often filled with uncertainty...) with the magnitude of our current conditions. It's easier to fool ourselves that somehow we can control the outcome of our lives when we keep a narrow view. And sure, it's not like we can't control or influence a fair number of things in our lives...but believing we can control it all, and not learning how to navigate uncertainty, sets us up for REAL challenges when a global pandemic and stay-at-home orders roll out. Those who hold a fixed vision of what an ideal life should look like, one centered on control, expectations, and attachments, are no doubt also fixed on things getting "back to normal".
We all understand that there is no going back to that, right? As much as that sense of past safety & security is calling out, it is much like an amputated limb, still feeling what was once there, but really gone for good. What is left is to learn how to use what we are left with to the best of our ability, and hopefully create some amazing new ways to adapt. We are only limited by our own beliefs, no matter what changes or challenges we face...
What I do know is that I feel more strongly than ever about the need for human connection, self-exploration, and intimacy to be cultivated in our society. While I have a toolbox of skills that I have been utilizing to maintain a connection to self and good mental health, I know that excessive screen time is not a good substitute for the connections with others that my soul seeks. Humans need other human interaction to thrive. Maslow knew it, but there is mounting evidence to show how loneliness and isolation have a huge impact on health and well-being, impacting not just the individual, but also society as a whole. U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy recently wrote a book on the subject, and while I have not read it yet, did catch some of his insights on Brene Brown's new podcast Unlocking Us.
For this reason, I am going to continue offering in-person sessions, but am changing some of my business model and protocols. I am not 100% sure on all the ways things will change yet... There is still more information that needs to be gathered before I can really say for sure, and will continue to update as things unfold. In the meantime, I have decided to resume offering in-person sessions with established clients only. I may open up to take on new clients in the future, but I am not sure if, or when... (I will update my mailing list as things evolve).
My health is a priority, not only for myself and my family (I caretake for a family member at high risk for COVID), but for the clients I continue to see and their families too. I would not be seeing ANY clients if I thought it was impossible to do in relative safely (with extra attention to reducing risks as much as possible), while still offering the same experience, and intention, of deep connection during our sessions.
None the less, there will be some new habits I create to address those risks...and new habits might create a shift in the experience for some, especially those who have a harder time letting go of the past instead of accepting and addressing the needs of the present moment.
We only have today, and I want to seize each day fully, but part of being fully present in each moment is also shifting to meet the every changing set of circumstances each day brings, not operating on the habits, or auto-pilot, we can sometimes fall into... I see this as an opportunity to really deepen our presence in our sessions together, and use this as a chance to sharpen skills that will serve us in other areas of life! And yes, in some really fun, creative ways... ;-)
To those I have not met before who have been contacting me: I very much appreciate the interest, and will be continuing to think about when and how to engage with you to serve your needs. Please keep in touch here (on my blog and forum) or through my social media feeds to start building our connection for future opportunities. My specially curated opt-in mailing list also offers the opportunity for stimulation and engagement as well.
And for those struggling to find your footing while things continue to shift-I get how hard this is! I am a woman of action...of planning and execution. It is really HARD to sit back and wait, and be patient, as we wait for more testing, and well-studied vaccines. We have been programmed to "Always Be Closing", but this is not something we can think, or act, our way out of... When shifts like this happen, sometimes the wisest course of action is to sit back, and wait for things to fully settle before understanding what to do next.
#uncertainty #adaptability #patience #loneliness #intimacy #vulnerability #growth #VivekMurthy #BreneBrown #PemaChodron #AlanWatts